Reader,

When my editor at BuzzFeed emailed to say my story would be live in less than a week, I was excited and terrified.

I'd spent 14 years hiding the fact that my own sister, the same one who’d stood next to me as maid of honor at my wedding, later testified against me in my divorce and custody trial. And now I was about to share it with the world.

I didn’t need the money, but I did need to stop carrying something that was never mine to hold, and writing about it was the only way I knew how.

As if my divorce wasn't bad enough, I'd spent years trying to understand how my own sister could side with my abuser. How I could have trusted her enough to name my daughter after her. What was wrong with me?

Never mind that a family court judge disagreed, rejected their claims, and granted me full custody of my daughters.

I didn’t want anyone to know that my own family could betray me like that. Because deep down, I thought I deserved it and assumed everyone else would, too. From the inside out, shame was eating me alive.

And then one day, something changed, and I just couldn’t carry it any longer. Like Gisèle Pelicot wrote recently, shame must change sides.

I didn't betray anyone. I didn’t involve myself in anyone else’s divorce. I didn't testify in a court of law so another woman — my own sister — would lose her children. I didn't choose any of the things I'd been so ashamed of. So why was I the one hiding?

If this resonates, and you’re ready to stop managing your story and start owning it, even the hardest parts, join me this Saturday for Unmuted, a free, drop-in journaling hour for women.

You’re coming into bloom. See it. Trust it. Tend it.

Saturday, May 2, 10 am PT / 1 pm ET. Just us and our journals.

And if you're ready to talk sooner, my door is open.

Books Are My Love Language 📚

When I first read Maya Angelou's memoir, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, more than 30 years ago, I was stunned and captivated by her courage. The way she balanced the brutality of her experiences with warmth and wit, telling a devastating story about trauma, silence, and survival in the Jim Crow South has stayed with me all these years.

As a trauma survivor, I was drawn to her story, but it would be decades before I found my footing as a writer and realized the power of leading with your whole, messy, unvarnished truth. Dr. Angelou showed me it was possible long before I was ready to try it myself, and I was thrilled to see her speak at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, almost 20 years ago.

Have you read it? Hit reply and let me know. It's in my Bookshop if you want it.

As Seen In... 📰

​I Thought My Sister and I Would Be There for Each Other Through Anything. Then, She Testified Against Me in My Custody Trial. (BuzzFeed)

Weekly Journal Prompt ✍️

What part of your story have you been most ashamed of? Is it really yours to carry?

Write bravely, my friend. See you next week.

-Amber 🥰

PS. Do you know someone facing midlife and looking to build community? Share this page so she can sign up below.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing! 🙏