I’ve never been a fan of reality TV and usually left the room when my teenage daughter turned it on.

Then she went to college, and got busier, more independent, and harder to read from a distance. I missed her like crazy and often felt like I had fewer and fewer windows into the woman she was becoming.

So when she suggested I watch The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, a show I’d long viewed as the epitome of trash TV, I surprised us both by reconsidering.

Because—pro tip—when your grownish, super-independent kid throws you a bone, you grab it like the lifeline that it is.

Not what I was expecting

When I sat down for my first episode, I expected tacky glam, tired stereotypes, and fake conflict, and I got all of that. What I wasn’t expecting was how fast the show became our shared language.

We started out laughing at the drama but soon found ourselves talking about deeper topics like body image, mental health, and women's friendships.

Somehow, watching the show creates a neutral space where we can meet as equals. Instead of being in parent-child mode, we’re just two women noticing patterns, calling out red flags, and reflecting on what it’s like living in a misogynist society.

Meeting adult kids where they are

I’m still not a fan of how the show perpetuates negative stereotypes, promotes conspicuous consumption, and glamorizes toxic relationships for entertainment value. But I appreciate how it gives us an opportunity to talk openly about those issues.

This experience has changed how I think about connecting with my adult children, because sometimes the best bridge isn’t a carefully crafted heart-to-heart, it’s the willingness to try new things and meet them where they are.

And I’m reminded that I would do anything for my kids. Even watch reality TV.

Books Are My Love Language 📚

In keeping with the reality TV theme, I just finished listening to Bad Mormon by Heather Gay—one of the original Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and it was good!

I especially appreciated how it explores shame as a means of social control, the psychological cost of leaving a culty religion, and the emotional residue it leaves behind—especially around worthiness, obedience, and women self-policing.

This passage, where Gay talks about her oldest daughter’s baptism and the pressure she felt to make it perfect, reminded me so much of how I often felt when my girls were growing up:

Have you read it? What did you think? What are you reading these days? Hit reply and tell me.

Weekly Journal Prompt ✍️

What are the most important things we can teach children?

Write bravely, my friend. See you next week.

-Amber 🥰

PS. If you're feeling reflective or looking for gift giving ideas, check out my Midlife Magic Journal Series:

• ​Empty Nest Recovery Journal​
• ​Divorce Recovery Journal​
• ​Family Estrangement Recovery Journal​